Long-distance relationships can last a few weeks or years. Your long-distance relationship can last by making it work or out of sheer patience. You can have a healthy long-distance relationship that doesn't last long. Or you can have a long-distance relationship that lasts a long time but makes you unhappy.
On average, most people in long-distance relationships tend to be at least 125 miles apart from each other. A recent study announced that the average lifespan of a long-distance relationship is 4.5 months (not very motivating). But how can you trust raw statistics when you're desperately trying to figure out your own relationship? How many sleepless nights can you manage without running the risk of falling out of love?. One of the Lasting users shared how he came to appreciate his long-distance status.
I was able to dedicate 100% of my attention to my girlfriend when we were together. When we were apart, I focused on classes and spent time with my friends. It worked great for us when I was in law school. As a young man who was terrified of any kind of commitment, I found that I could only afford to fall in love with a girl if I was at least 500 miles away, 1 The first time, we both genuinely tried to make it work, but things fell apart spectacularly, not least because we were too young and immature to manage the distance.
The moment you stop having some milestone to look forward to, the harder it will be to maintain the same enthusiasm and optimism in the other, 2 One thing that is true about all relationships is that if they are not growing, then they are dying. And growth is even more crucial in a long-distance relationship. There must be some goal that you are achieving together. You must have some cause that ties you together at all times.
There must be a converging trajectory on the horizon. Otherwise, you will inevitably break up. This can manifest itself in several ways within a long-distance relationship. In some cases, people become insanely jealous or irrationally possessive because they perceive that every casual social outing is potentially threatening to a relationship, 4 “Who the hell is Dan? Tell me who the hell is this guy Dan, and why he writes on your Facebook wall.
Oh, is he your stepbrother? I didn't know you had a stepbrother. Why didn't you tell me you had a stepbrother? Are you hiding something from me? Okay, maybe I wasn't listening when you told me, but I still don't want you going out with Dan, okay? Remember, love is not enough. Both need to have aligned visions of life, shared values and mutual interests. If she has a 10-year contract working for the Singapore government, and he is dogsledding around the polar ice caps, well, then there's not much hope for that relationship, no matter how much the two people love each other.
Can it work? Yes, you can. But then again, that's true for the vast majority of relationships, 10 And it doesn't mean we shouldn't ever try. Relationships can be complicated and difficult. But few people know that there are some pretty clear signs to know if a relationship is going to work or not.
Put your email in the form below to receive my 51-page eBook on Healthy Relationships. Learn about the idea that transformed a depressed wanderer into one of the most important philosophers in history. Read about it in my free 19-page ebook. There is no doubt that you will have days when your long-distance relationship seems especially difficult.
When a couple is considering going long distance, immersive and real-time communication technologies can make distance seem more manageable. A long-distance marriage can last longer than other long-distance relationships, mainly because it is a more serious relationship with a greater commitment. Of course, not every long-distance relationship will survive, but they are no more likely to end in the demise than another type of relationship. There are also other tactics that must be taken by those in long-distance relationships to make the relationship work.
Anyone who has been in a long-distance relationship can attest to the underlying heartache of being separated from the one you love. You can keep your relationship at a distance for a long time, but at some point, it becomes unhealthy and leads to problems. Also, I've read about people who had a long distance relationship, got married and continue to live apart; it's been nine years and they're still going strong (read the full article for inspiration here). Long-distance relationships can last until a couple finds a way to be together or ends their relationship.
While the average length of a relationship is about 7.3 years, a German study said long-distance relationships tend to last less than half, or just under three years. Overwhelmingly, the dozen people I interviewed about their relationships for this story said they would rather be long-distance now, rather than 20 or 50 years ago. We always make sure that things will work out and we will find a way, but I can't help but think that 5 years in long distance is a long time. Alex Bettencourt and Frantz Salomon have been together for three years, married for one and long distance all the time.
However, there is no evidence to suggest that people in long-distance relationships are more likely to cheat than others. . .